Posted in Uncategorized on October 12, 2019 by The Witches Cupboard
So I am currently on day 44 of my fast. I started as a strict water fast and found that for me that wasn’t feasible. I become so dizzy that everything goes black. I can still breath my way through it, but when that happens I have to have something. Sometimes when I feel it coming on I can just eat a chip that’s salty, or two hard boiled eggs, or a piece of fruit, or a very plain salad. I can’t just have a meal. I have to pick one thing so I can still get a fat loss result in the morning. For a second there I thought that I could do a once a week refueling day, and that was no good. It took an entire week to begin losing weight again. With that lesson learned, I have been doing 6-8 water fast then I will need to have something to stop the blackouts. This has worked for me. I have lost a total of 26.4 lbs. If I hadn’t messed up trying those refueling days it would have been more. Also the refueling days made me crave more foods than when I’m just fasting. I know that I have a problem with self control. Because in the beginning I would eat these small sesame sticks (so fucking good), but I would only lose 2oz sometime 4oz. So now that I have a better handle on things, I have made sure that the food I typically crave are out of the house. My goals are to get to a point that once a month I can have a cheat meal and not care if the scale goes up for a few days, while I work to lose them. But I’m so far away from the at the moment. I will have to lose 56.6 more pounds to be able to do this. That will take me into probably mid September or early October. But one thing is for sure I’m not giving up this time. I will be a hot lil Witch for Samhain. Best believe that I have a beautiful ritual planed for this year. I will look the way I’ve always wanted to for years. for 2 decades! To be honest.
I have allowed my self esteem and self worth to be shot down by my husbands infidelities, and my fear of not having a provider and father for my children. I see all that I have done and ashamed for the things I haven’t. I actually was afraid to lose weight, because I feared that I might be the one to go out and cheat… I have never actually wanted to do that, because I feel that I’m so much better than he in that aspect. So now that I’m trying to get my life together I wonder, if I would still stay with him or leave. I love him tremendously, I feel that we are twin souls, soulmates. But If I have been living this same karmic ass pounding with someone I have loved through oceans of time. Then maybe this time around I have to love myself more. I will see how this shakes out. All I know is that if he strays, there is no way that I will stay. I can’t feel that even at my best, I’m not worth faithfulness.
This fast has brought out a lot of emotions and I do believe it not only cleanses the body, mind and the soul. It’s a hard journey, but one I am grateful for.
So I will say that I reached a milestone! 169 lbs. Then I had to stop the water fast. I was starting to feel very lightheaded and off. I felt like I needed food! I don’t have the best support system all the times when it comes to diet. The hubs, likes to immediately reward everything with food and have everything go back to the way he is use to. So I got a bit of flack for not always wanting what he cooked. My weight did go up a bit. But it was with all good foods, keto mainly. What I had failed to realize, is that when on such a long water fast, you can lose your hair. I began to lose sooooo damn much of it! I’m not kidding when I say, I probably lost 1/2 my hair.
So real quick. I should have been taking trace minerals while on the water fast. That would have helped me not lose my hair. I wish I would have known. Because there is NOTHING you can do to stop it!!! HEAR ME! NOTHING WILL STOP THE HAIR FROM FALLING OUT!!! I have never felt so helpless before. I took hair pills, sprays like rogain for women, rosemary oil treatments, Goddess knows I did everything, spent so much money on trying to feed my body. That’s why I gained a bit back. I started to eat a bit more regular foods (carbs), to try and have my body feel normal and stop the shedding. Nothing worked. So I have not continued the diet. I have been trying to do intermittent fasting, but I’m kinda all over the place. I also have been using a supplement that helps the hair that starting to grow back grow faster. Now that shit is working! (side note. I have a bag of all the hair that fell out. It looks like I scalped someone.)
I am going into the new year smaller than last year, and I feel good about that. But I know I can do better. So I have about 41 days until my birthday. I will be smaller. Not sure how much smaller, but I will be.
So take the advice of a person who struggles with weight loss. Water fasts are great you will lose and you can keep most of it off. That being said, if you’re already bald, you will look fucking amazing, and you won’t miss the hair. Ladies, take trace minerals and pray like a bitch on fire that you don’t lose your hair.
It’s the full moon! Last one of 2020! I will be preforming a sex ritual, and utilizing my medical cannabis to aid in reaching a new level and some pain relief. I lost so much weight, so fast that I feel like I broke my nervous system. Truth! So please be careful with fasting. I loved it and love that my clothes fit better but more research is needed to see what works best for me. See you all in 2020!!!
So I haven’t had much traction writing these posts. So I took off a little bit for the Summer. I do see that there have been many posts and questions about mercury retrograde and how people feel that it has been affecting them. I only can say that work in this household as dropped a bit. Money has been pretty tight. usually we are making a bulk of our money during the summer months, but not this one. But then today happened. I truly felt blindsided.
So two days ago my husband and I decided, we would start a business. Now this one has nothing to do with magic, even thought I’m sure there are people that think my cooking can be a heavenly experience. I love to stroke my own ego some times. But anyway. Whenever I have made these proclamations before, my husband tends to get so excited that he fucks up all my enthusiasm. I have never meat someone who makes me fear trying a new project. I like to take my time. Where he as already wants us to sell food from a cooler int he park. I don’t like the ideas he brings forth, he hates my slow ass ways of doing everything. In short I have been a useless, worthless, coward in our relationship. I tend to agree. There have been so many times that I should have stood up to him and I didn’t. There are times that I allowed my fears to drown my dreams, there have been so many more times, I somehow talked myself out of living better.
So my question is. Is his outburst mercury retrograde, or him just being a fucking asshole? I personally think it’s him.
Oh man this has been some of the craziest days of my life. Not even kidding. I knew that when I started this water fast that my body would purge toxins, a bit of muscle, and fat. But what seems to be happening is more than I ever expected.
So on the first first full 48 hours, I had a dream that I was in a car with my friend and husband. My friend was in a sexy black dress, with see through panels on either side (note I don’t know who this woman was in my dream at all). So we stop to go to a convenience store. The friend starts to strut in front of my husband, bending over seductively and my husband looks at me and say “when will I get a chance to see something like this again,” as he licks his lips. I of course get pissed and let her know that she’s walking home and I commence to beat my husband.
So I wake up and tell my husband about the dream, and he’s just starring at me like what did I do? So usually when this has happened (bad dreams about infidelity) I never really freak out or threaten this man. But This time I truly let him know that if I ever have to doubt him again, then he is the fuck out of my life! That me staying for the kids, won’t stop me from leaving his ass and that if he’d like to try me then go ahead. He was kinda shocked and was very apologetic, and he completely knew this was a real threat.
So I was confused as to what all that was about myself. I have been feeling pretty good as of late with my husband, so what gives? Then a few days later I have a recollection about my mother. About when I was little she stood on top of this old ass stove that we had and had a big fucking knife, she said that she would kill me. I did have a conversation with a sister of mine a while ago (when we were still talking) and she asked me about something similar. I did remember, and told her that all this time that I thought it was a dream. But somehow I forgot about that conversation again. It’s almost like my mind was protecting me from this information. So while I was telling my son about this, I began recalling the entire event. That I walked into the kitchen and saw my mother on the stove (I was 2 years old), and my mother telling me that “she would kill me, slice my throat, and to come closer.” My dad saw me looking up (my sisters account) and went to see what I was looking at, when he saw my mother and she lunged at me with the knife. My dad luckily grabbed me by the arm and flung me across into the other room. I remember having a skinned knee from sliding on the linoleum floor. Then my mother jumped down and went after my dad. He had to try to stop her from killing me and my other sister who was in the same room. My brother came out to see what was the matter, and tried to get the knife from my mother. My dad got the knife and had us call the police. Me and my sister ran to the neighbors house and told the man of the house ( who was a, ex FBI agent) for help. He came with another neighbor, and all three men tried to hold down a 4’11 woman. All I remember next is that my mom was gone for some time. I want to say this happened in the winter and I didn’t see her again until the summer.
My next terrifying memory was of me sitting on the toilet trying to pee. When my mom stops short and looks at me (since I was little I wasn’t allowed to close the bathroom door). She stares at me for what seems like an eternity and she runs toward me at top speed. I got off the toilet and ran for the front door and made it outside. I was not allowed to leave the front house steps at that age, and I knew that all my neighbors were not home. So I sat on the front steps while my mother stood in the house calling me to come into the house. She sounded so evil. I remember the steps being so hot on my butt, and I was so scared that she would grab me from the step and pull me into the house, that I continued to pee on myself and the stairs. We were the only two home that day. My dad was at his brothers house with my three other siblings. He usually would take me with him. But I think that my mom asked him to leave me behind. I remember my dad coming home and seeing me crying with the neighbors surrounding me. I just recall being so happy when the neighbor across the street came home and asked me if I was ok. But as I recalled and told my son about this, I kept shivering. Had the incredible urge to pee, like I was living this over again.
I’m not sure if all this is due to the fasting. But that is the only reason I can come up with. I’m still trying to figure out what on earth to do with these feelings. Because ever since I was little I knew that my mom didn’t want to keep me. She was always trying to send me away to Puerto Rico to live with my Grandmother, or asking my aunts if they wanted me. I guess it was postpartum depression and from what my sister has said, my mom was given a psychotropic drug that clearly was not meant for her.
Anyway, I’m here fearing what I will remember next. I want all this crap out of me, and yet I’m fucking terrified what might pop up. I would have a drink but, that sounds like a horrible idea with me haven’t eaten in days.
Ok, now to the fast it’s self. I will not hold anything back. But my daughter had a birthday. That morning I was giving myself an enema, when my blood pressure dropped to the point of cold sweats and blacking in and out. I also thing the toxins in my colon were unleashed. I felt as if I would die on the toilet (when You started this post I bet you didn’t think it would be this good! LOL) but I hear who I thought was my youngest son at the door asking me if I was alright. So when I forced myself to move and opened the door, no one was there. But then my son comes running toward me saying “I’m coming mama!” I think there was a spirit intervention (perhaps one or all three of my rainbow babies coming to help me), because when he gets to me, he looks at my face and immediately asks what’s wrong. I tell him to get me a juice box. That’s the first thing I could think of. He runs so fast to do as I asked, and when he comes back with the juice box I send him to get his dad. I tell him to say “dad mom needs help!” From that point on. I don’t remember how I get my bed or when my husband comes in. I apparently asked him for salt. He puts it under my tongue. I begin to feel a little better. But that day I did have some food to eat. Green beans and some very well chewed steak. I have decided to make Sunday a fuel day. But making sure it’s mostly salad with a slight bit of protein. I’ve still lost 14 lbs in 11 days. So I will say that this is going quite well. What I am learning is that you do need to listen to your body. If you feel like you’re suffering a bit too much, then take something. Even if it’s a piece of fruit. Something to keep you going. Not eating for 6 days and then having a bit of food, helps you to stay in control and train your mind to see that you don’t have to be shoveling food in your mouth all the time. My husband has lost 15.2 lbs. But full disclosure he drinks a smoothie every morning. Pom juice, banana, and spirulina power.
I hope you enjoyed this post. It’s a bit much for me to share this. Because as far as my mother. Our relationship did get better after I left home and got married. Also I do love her and I’m glad she doesn’t do online anything. But this is something a byproduct of this fast and if you are going to be doing one you should know that for some this may happen.
I can hear the rap song from LL Cool Jay (Don’t call it a comeback). So with that brain worm set in place. I am on a fast! I don’t know how long this will last but what I can say is, I’ve heard the first three days are the worst.
The first day was easy as pie as far as hunger. Didn’t have any hunger pains. My tummy growled once. I did have a headache that was light. Sinus pressure was huge. But I did take an aspirin, which doesn’t usually work for me. But it did this time. Second day I felt a little worse. My sinuses felt a bit better. Headache never came back. Hunger was a bit more. Third day a little harder as far as hunger and I felt a bit sluggish. But to be honest, I did go to bed at 2:30 a.m..
I did so much research on this, that I think I gave myself a headache. So I have learned that I can drink Black Coffee, Green Tea, Black Tea, Lemon water, Lime water, and Carbonated waters with no sweeteners. I will post Pictures of the waters that I will begin to drink once they are cold. The only sweetener I will be using is monk fruit. I love this stuff. you can even bake with it. But this isn’t too bad to be able to use more than just water.
Here is the list of medical issues I have and want to cure with this “water fast.”
Migraines
Ovarian Cysts
Constant Dizziness
Left Arm Pain
Pinched Nerve In Back And Neck
Sinus Pain And Allergies
Legs Falling asleep While Sitting
Breathing Issues
Agressive Coughing Issues
Sugar Food Allergies
Lethargy
Anxiety
Weight loss
I’m hoping that as many of these issues can be addressed. I truly want to heal. Hell I didn’t add this to my list but I would love to grow in mental tranquility. Be a bit more thoughtful and peaceful. Can I get a So Mote It Be!
What made me do this? I had researched this for about two years. I then went to bed on Sunday and woke up spoke to my husband and convinced myself and him to do this together. Fun fact, Goddess and other Divine Guides came to me while I slept and encouraged me to make a change. Now I don’t follow all my dreams, but I have been trying to convince my husband to take care of himself i.e. high blood pressure and cholesterol, chest pain. So when I started talking to him about this and he seemed to be interested. I flew into it head first. Anything to help my family be happy and that means taking care of him and making sure he’s with his family for as long as possible. My future grand babies need his wisdom, love, his sense of humor, his family dedication.
So as far as weight loss, I have lost 5.2 lbs, that’s in three days. I’m assuming that this is water and colon waste. I feel good. I thought that I would be feeling like I had the flu. I feel pretty good. I won’t post every day about this, but I will check in.
Pre and Post pics will come after I have finished the Water Flush.
This year was a very thoughtful celebration of the growth and thankfulness I have in my life. This does not mean that I have everything in my life flowing in the way that I would like. Not even close. But I expect the appreciation of what’s to come. I have a renewed faith for no other reason, then I will it to be so. I feel my powers growing now more then I have ever felt in my life.
Like many people have done this year. I make a sweet confection. Mine was a delicious pineapple upside down cake. I made sure to stir it with the intention of thankfulness and gratitude. Infused it with the power of the sun. That everything that serves my life will come, as the sun comes up every day. Each egg that went into the cake, was looked as a vision of the sun and its power. All the pineapple rounds also representing the sun and the sweet bounty it brings. I did add cherries, which were the core of the sun. That represents my belief in my power that is the strength that creates all my desires to come true.
We also had steak. That my husband bar B-Q’d. Cooking with fire also brings power to any meal. I’ll be honest my husband infuses all his meals with love. So that is his kind of magic. Not sure if he sees it that way. But everyone who eats at are home feels it.
We lit a yellow candle, which we all said a prayer and a wish into. Even our youngest son who asked for a Judy Hopp ZPD character. We usually ask for help with love, finances, or perhaps help for each other, and our planet.
These days have been wonderful and enlightening. It’s been so long that we all have been able to use our powers. But this time we could all see and feel a change.
This Strawberry Moon I made moon water! It’s so simple and so very powerful. Now what you will need is
Jar with lid
Water
Crystals
Safe place to put your jar outside
I like to bless my water in front of the Full Moon. I like to surround my jar with crystals that complement my desires for the water to absorb. So if I want peace and calm then I would use amethyst. If my focus was Love, then I would use rose quarts. I use incense to also bless the water. I always tell my water that I thank and love her. I say a prayer to the moon and leave the closed jar outside to absorb the glorious power of the moon.
It’s that simple! I will then place the water in the fridge. I will drink small amount of the water daily. I can also pour some into a bowl and make Holy water to bless myself each day, or cleanse my home. The last bit will be used for my ritual shower or bath, where I bless my entire body with it. It’s very versatile.
I hope you try to make this and enjoy it as much as I do.
So I did my spell and to be honest things have been shifting. Not in an obvious way but very subtle. We have the POS car that was given to my son a while ago. We didn’t want to drive it because I have to admit the car had freaking roaches in it! WHO HAS EVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING?! So because my kids have to get to work (and they don’t drive yet 20 and 21 and they still don’t drive… another day). One through a allergy test I found out that I am allergic AF to roaches! With that being said I told my husband that the car needed to be bombed, and a heavy coat of diatomaceous earth would have to be poured into the car. Needless to say the bugs are gone and vacuumed, detailed. So we needed to put in a new battery and replace a tail light and oil the windows. The point is that we have the POS and it’s doing its job and we are able to not have a car note, or expensive insurance. So we are saving money and are paying off a few debts. My husband has been getting work quite regularly and I have been able to spend more time with my son with his reading, writing, communication, and critical thinking. I have been getting the house slowly organized. Also my marriage is getting back to the strong bond that I’m accustomed to. I’m feeling a bit odd in a way that I am forcing myself to do things better. Eating, listening, taking time with every member of my family. It has been very gradual. Very meticulous and delicate.
Now with that being said, yesterday a man was in my car rummaging through it looking to steal stuff. My husband caught him, and chased him until he lost him in some woods. I was thinking about my spell. How is this helpful, why did this happen? So my conclusion is that my husband finding this person and stopping him has actually made us stronger as a family and has made us decide to get into shape and to take better care of ourselves and to make sure we get to our own property where we can have it set up to protect our family. It seems that this too was a part of the spells. Because usually when this sort of thing would happen back in Detroit, we would become angry, and downtrodden. We all can see this happening, but everyone else seems to have forgotten that I did this spell. Anyway I’m loving the way that things are evolving. I still don’t have a very good clear visual of how things will turn out, but I feel like it’s been already decided that we will be fine.
A side note. I had posted about the crime on a local Maui crime stoppers page and I posted how the guy screamed like a bitch when my husband chased him, and the guy contacted me via facebook messenger. But the message disappeared. They message the guy sent me said that, he was the person who broke into my car. “That was me!” I scrambled to try to screen grab the message, but I was too late. So now I know this man knows where I live and that I’m ready for him to try that shit again. I have put down some protective spells. Simple but have always been affective. I sprinkled salt at all my doorways, and asked the divine Goddess Sophia to stand guard. I also sprinkled the salt across the driveway. Commanding Arch Angle Michale to protect our children and family. Then I took crushed eggshells and put a clump at all the corners of the house and property (outside). Third and last I took some saved period blood and sprinkled it at the perimeter of the house and doorways. Asking my Blood ancestors to stand guard and protect my family and I. So mote it be. Almost forgot that I have figures (one of me), statues of dragons, even a bobblehead of ODIN to protect the house and us in it.
As for the inside I bought a BB gun, and a couple of machetes. So I now own 5 machetes and I had my husband sharpen the old ones. I hope not to have to use any of it. But it can be a part of the universe plan for growth in some way. I don’t think that’s something anyone wants for themselves. But I and my family are in the hands of the Goddess/God and Arch Angel Michale.
So I needed to make sure that I had the timing done right before I just did the spell to get it out there for people to check out. I needed to make sure that the first part of the spell was done on the New Moon (Black Moon) and the second phase was done on the Waxing Moon (Whist the Moon is growing). So tonight, as a matter of fact about an hour ago I lit my candle, after having blessed it with Palo Santo (very sacred wood), then I anointed the candle with Frankincense and Myrrh oil and resin. I sprinkled some Amber powder (for prosperity and protection), I added saffron 5 buds, for each member of my family (for wealth), honey (for health, wealth, happiness, the sweet life), and a naturally fallen spider (for weaving the magic spell that I need in my life). I said prayers that personally resonated with me and my family. Lit the candle and now I will leave it to burn, until it is done. If it goes out before all the wax is melted, then I will bury the candle and wait to see what happens.
The ashes from the first spell get sent down the toilette where all negative thing belong. Far and away from my family and I. I will tell you when the spell has made it’s mark and has done everything that I need it to do. This way if you want to try it after a testimonial, then you will have one. I have done spells with less fanfare and have gotten seriously amazing results. But I will admit that when I moved here to Maui that I feel like I lost my mojo. I know that I was getting a lot of negative energy from family and people who know me from school (Facebook), and everything that my husband I had planned just started to fall apart. There were so many issues happening all at once that I knew it was a deliberate attack. So now, that it’s a struggle to live scenario, I had to snap out of it and catalog what I am doing to get out of this steaming pile.
I’m starting to feel like I need to get moving physically as well. I know living here being a bigger woman, sometimes doesn’t help you get the jobs you want. I know that I should have gotten jobs in the hospitality industry, but I have the phone interview and then I get to the face to face, and then NO CALL BACKS! I’m a pro at interviews. I can sell myself into anything, but there is a certain aesthetic that companies want in their Hotel employees especially in paradise. Anyway, no more about my crap. All I know is that life is about to get better. You will see me thrive in a hot minute. I say hot, because I think it won’t be pleasant, but I won’t allow my family to suffer this kind of life anymore. We came out here for a better life and damn it if I’m not going to use all my powers to get it.
Ok, so it’s been a few days, and I have had one hell of a time. My husband and I spoke about divorce, if we wanted to keep going on (ironic that our anniversary is June 3rd, going to be 24 years of marriage) with the marriage. We still want to and love each other. My husband got into a car accident 5 feet from the house. The POS car we do have had no damage, but it completely wrecked the other guys car. The car hot my husband from behind. My husband shrugged it off and told the guy that he would press charges or sue, because he was fine, and the guys car looked like it took all the damage, so there. Creditors are sending letters and we still need a car that I can actually drive. Because te one we have thought it can take a hit. It’s not safe for our young son to drive in.
So, since the last post, I have been making preparations for my spell tonight for the New Moon. I want to shed my old life patterns. So I have collected skin from my body. How you may ask? By doing a foot skin peel. You may have seen it on Facebook or YouTube, a product that you put on after you get out of the shower and you place these bags on your feet, then after 3-7 days your skin starts to peel off in a crazy amount. Well, I figured that I would utilize this byproduct to change my direction in life. If I’m literally walking in a path that no longer serves my better good, then the use of this old removed skin should help manifest a different direction in life. So I will pull out my cauldron, light a charcoal disk, take my skin and burn it with the visual intentions of burning away the old path. I will then take one of the lizard tails that I have, and burn that in the cauldron as a sacrifice from nature, to give me a second chances to have wealth, and good health in my life. I will use fingernails as a symbol of clawing my way out of all the debt, sadness, fear, instability, and daunting feelings. These things will be burned away in my life and for the lives of my family.
Then the next day I will take a white candle, crush a bumble bee, and a spider in my mortar and pestle, then mix with honey, and pour this onto a white candle. Each member of the family will say an incantation or prayer for what they want for themselves, the family, into the candle. This is done so the sweet life can have a beacon to know where this new delicious life needs to come to and to whom. This will help us all with every aspect of our lives.
I will post as things begin to change for us. The outcome should be all good. I would ask that you come back to see if this spell is right for you before you go out to find these already dead animals.
** Warning!!! Remember, if you kill an animal, the spell will not work in your favor. You have to find the critters, they must have lived out their life with no interference from you.
Luna Noirs' The Witches Cupboard 