Archive for Death

WTH

Posted in 9, Affirmations, angry, child, children, dead, Death, episode, Feeling good, help, home, job, Life, Life, Love, luck, magic, Magick, manifestation, New Age, possessed, son, Spells, Uncategorized, Witch, Witchcraft with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 6, 2013 by Luna Noir The Witches Cupboard

Image

Ok I knew something was going wrong when my husband accidentally broke my bottle of elderberry syrup…

I havent been sick for two years now and now I can barely speak due to a horrible sore throat. I thought that it was just allergies at first but now I can see that this is a wee bit more than just that.

So I am going to write about the podcast that I wanted to share with you this week.

Amulets

Who has them? What are they? What can you gain from them?

Well I have a few of them. I have at least a 12,ooo  year old Mastodon tusk, that was fashioned into a bracelet with silver clasps (once called a slave cuff). This is one of those amulets that when you hold it you can feel the energy of the animal that use to roam the forest of their time. I will usually use this as my power bracelet when I am at family functions. As you may have read in previous podcasts, my family can sometimes be quite vicious. So I use the bracelet as a bridge to how this elefant may have once interacted with his or her family (I do feel that it was female for some reason). So I have always been pleasantly surprised at how much nicer my family have bee towards me when I use the bracelet, it’s almost like I have control over their emotions towards me. Kinda like Jasper Cullen from Twilight.

I also have a Witches ring that is made out of a 2,ooo year old bog wood from England. Now this ring is very strong with good energy but all so I have worn it during sleep and have had horrible nightmarish dreams. I’m not sure if I told you about this dream I had with the ring on. But I’m sure I said I woud. So here is that dream.

My husband and our three children are looking to get into a four bedroom apartment. When the manager sends me up to look at this apartment that just has been freed by there previous tenants. So I notice that one of the rooms was a boys nursery, perfect for my little Eros. So I’m wondering why did the couple leave all of the babies belongings, when I begin to slowly walk to this beautiful bassent that was adorned with white lace, and powder blue crocheted lace trim, it also have a kind of canopy that as I pulled it back away from the bassinet, it reviled the dead body of the boy who’s nursery i was in. He slept there peacefully. I was shocked and ran from the room. I told my husband and he began to scream at the manager of the apartment, as to what the hell was going on! The manager explained that the family were so devastated at the loss of their son that they left before they were able to have the body removed. but they were going to have him removed by days end.

Well needless to say I told my husband that I would NOT be moving into that apartment. My husband reassured me that we would not be getting that apartment and that we would find something fast, since we had to move by the end of the week. So we packed all of our belongings and packed the moving truck and when we got to the new apartment I was happy to see that we were literally at the other side of the building, to where the baby and the nursery were. We all unpacked and when I got to the room where my son Eros was to be sleeping I discovered that we were in the same apartment. We just came from the back door of the building. I was so upset and angry. I ran to my husband and he said that the body had been removed and her thought that there was no reason for us not to ge the apartment since we were in need of an apartment right away. I looked at my two older kids and asked them where their little brother was and they sai that they put him in the nursery. I LOST MY SHIT at this point. so I ran to the nursery and found my son on the floor crying. So as I picked him up I could still see the dead baby in the bassinet but this time he was possessed and writhing there in the bed. His eyes where black, and he had black lips and black dried blood coming from his mouth. I was able to somehow get my son out of there but my legs became stuck to the floor, so I was not able to move. I tried to scream but no sound came out. I looked behind me and the baby was beginning to  pull himself out of the bed and no matter how hard I tried to scream or get my husbands attention I could do nothing. I was able to knock over a broom (which usually means company is coming over to your house) and use the broom to get my husbands to check on me. He was able to drag me off to safety.  During this dream I was trying to wake up but just like the dream I was stuck. So no matter how I tried to wake I just couldn’t.

So that was my first experience with this Witches ring. But as soon as I got up that day I took the ring outside and put it in the sunshine for hours, to burn away any negative energy that may have accompanied the ring. Now I can sleep in it and not have any bad dreams.

I believe that this ring may have recorded a lot of killing. Because there is a sense of sadness, but still very positive. I do love the ring.

I also have an amulet that I made out of clay. This is by far the happiest of the three. I made it out of Sculpey Clay. I took moss green clay and fashioned it into a disk. I carved a simple O with a cross cut into the middle of it. I made it during the full moon, with the intension of finding my life calling. I will admit that it worked very well, but I will say that it has taken a long time for my amulet to CONVINCE me into believing that I can do my life calling.

So anyone can have an amulet and for sure you can make one by yourself. I was lucky to have been able to resonate with a few different kinds. But what’s important is to feel a connection. If you can have a positive experience, the better. I believe that using an amulet can heighten your power in many ways. It can help focus your energies toward your desire. It can gain even more power from positive energies surrounding you. I love how my amulets also protect me from negative energy and helps to direct my life towards my hearts desire and what is best for my life.

I do hope you all try to either find or create your own. I find that it helps fill in the cracks of a persons spells. I usually bless my amulets with smoke and during the full moon.

I just realized that the medicine I am taking is making me feel loopy. I must go now.

Bright Blessing to you all and as soon as I can I will post this podcast or a new one may God and Goddess Bless.

Namaste

Luna

Angry Face

Posted in 9, Affirmations, angry, child, children, episode, excitement, help, Life, magic, Magick, manifestation, New Age, Ostara, Religion, son, Spells, Uncategorized, Witch, Witchcraft with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 5, 2013 by Luna Noir The Witches Cupboard

Image

In short I am re recording my 9th Episode. I thought that it was recording for forty-five minutes and then when I went to insert the artwork the beginning of the podcast was fine for three minutes and then DEAD AIR for the next twenty-three minutes. I am livid people!. But I am going to re-record the Episode as soon as I can get my son to sleep tonight.

Sorry Folk, I’m trying

Luna

I can’t believe my baby is gone!

Posted in child, children, Faith, God and Goddess Worship, help, home, unborn, Uncategorized, Wavering with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2011 by Luna Noir The Witches Cupboard

When last I posted, I spoke about wavering faith. Now I speak about blind faith. With all that I thought could be the worst things to happen to me and my family; I was knocked down a few more pegs after getting my first ultra sound after 16 weeks of pregnancy. (I know what you’re thinking) why did I wait so long?!) I had no choice in the matter. With no insurance I was turned away from every place I thought was supposed to help me.

The state of Michigan government agencies are run worse than the FBI, CIA and Homeland security during 9/11. No one knew who I was supposed to talk to or who I could call for information. I made so many calls to DHS, Planned Parenthood, OBGYN offices in general, just trying to get help. That finally after praying for help, I called the city of Lansing spoke to God only knows and was told that all the places I had called should have directed me to Herman Kiefer. Where everything I needed could easily have been taken care of. I was told that every agency I spoke with has a list that they could have looked at if they were so inclined to help me. But even after that, I still had to wait 2 extra weeks to see a nurse then make my appointment for the ultra sound.

I did everything that I was told, and when I went to the ultra sound with my mother (the hubs had to work) I was so excited because we might have been able to see the sex of the baby… I had so many thoughts of how I would call my husband to tease him on what we were going to have, and then how would I tell the kids. I thought of making them a white cake and there in the middle of the cake would be either blur or pink frosting or something that would indicate the sex of the baby.

So as I lay down on the table, and exposed my belly for the ultrasound tech to begin her work, she asked me if I was from the outpatient clinic. Yes I am… She began the ultrasound, with a squirt of warm jelly on my belly and then, she began to run the Doppler over my pelvis for about 3 minutes and then she said she was checking my ovaries, and I told her to tell me once she would begin to look at the baby. She agreed, and after another 3 minutes looking around my ovaries she told me that she was now about to check the baby… About 10-15 seconds (no exaggeration) she stopped and said that she needed to get the doctor. She asked me when was my first confirmation of pregnancy and when I told her she left the room. I was freaked out and so was my mom. She hardly looked at the baby before she walked out the door. I thought that perhaps she saw a tumor or fibroids, or something like that. The Doctor came in put the Doppler on my tummy and within 5-7 seconds said I have good news and bad news. I immediately said what’s the good news? She said the baby is developed, I then said “what’s the bad news?” The doctor said “It stopped (Developing), sorry about that, we need you to pull up your pants and the ultrasound tech will take you to the next room, so they can tell you about your options. Again, sorry”.

I looked at my mother in bewilderment and I kinda remember wiping my belly and pulling up my pants. The tech was guiding me to the room next door and I recall asking to go to the restroom. My head began to spin. Just like that, with the words “I have good news and bad news”, my life was turned upside down.

I sat in the room next to the ultrasound room and waited what seemed like forever. Waiting for the phone to ring that would tell me that my baby was dead. The phone did ring and a doctor did call me and began to prattle off all sorts of ways for me to expel the lifeless body that was in my belly, she rattled off words like D & C, misoprostol, surgery or just go home and wait for it to come out on its own. Would you like fries with that or to biggy size it??? It was so nonchalant, I’ve had more remorse from a sales clerk not having shoes in my size than these assholes who just announced that my baby was dead.

I clearly was in shock but I don’t think that this bitch even thought or cared about that. “So what do you want to do”? Um I can’t make a decision right now, was my answer. I think that I need some time to think. “Um ok just call me tomorrow, with your decision, Sorry about this “. I was devastated; I couldn’t believe what I was going through. I called my husband and he was so upset how I was treated. My mother sat there with me in the same shock that I was. She told me that I needed a second opinion. This was for sure.

So I went home and my thinking was, if I have miscarried then like the women on the phone said I can just wait for nature to run its course and the baby will come out on its own and if they are wrong, then I can give the baby some time to grow a bit and have a heartbeat. You may be thinking right now that Luna has lost her mind. But in a way I have. I couldn’t comprehend that these heartless bitches could be right, so I went home with the idea that there must be a reason for this shit to be happening. I was home for a week and I swear that I thought that I could feel the baby move just like before the ultrasound.

I told my husband that I wanted to wait until my next doctors appointment to come around and then I would go and get another ultrasound, then I would be sure that the baby had had a chance to either grow or then I would know without a shadow of  a doubt, the baby was gone. Well he called the doctors office to tell them what I was planning on doing, and within about 15 minutes I received a call telling me to come to the hospital the very next day for another look at the baby to see if there was a heartbeat and that they were sorry for how I was treated the last time I was there. So I went to the hospital with my husband, and I was given the proper amount of time for the ultrasound and I saw that the baby was there with no heartbeat. This time around with another doctor, I was treated like a person. Not like an animal. I was still so terribly sad. Because the days that I was at home I prayed so much to God and Goddess and to all the divine beings in heaven and on earth. But to no avail.

I think it’s been 4 days since I went to the hospital and got the D&C but I still touch my belly like if I still had my precious little Blueberry (that was my nickname for the baby). I can’t believe that after all the terrible times I have had in my life for the past couple of years, losing the jobs, losing the house, losing so much that I could still be brought even lower.

The reason for me posting this isn’t to show you how bitter, sad, depressed, angry or tired I am of all this shit that has happened to me and my family. But to show you that despite all this my faith in God and the Goddess is still as strong if not stronger by it.

After I left that hospital the first time, I went home and begged, prayed, and pleaded with the God/dess to make Blueberry well. To let that bitch who gave me my “good news, bad news” to be fucking wrong! I also prayed that if I had to lose my baby to at least trade me something for the pain that I would endure in the coming months and possibly years… To trade me a better world for my kids that I have now, and for a better kind of people on this planet for my future baby. That’s what I asked for. I went to sleep every night in tears, I walked around the house in tears all day long, until the morning of the D&C when I got up and felt completely numb. I had so many people praying for me and my family, that I truly felt like I was being shielded against the fear, and pain that was about to come. I have never had surgery before, never had to deal with this kind of situation ever before in my life. On this day I woke up and got dressed and I noticed that I was being taken care of by God and the Goddess. I understand the poem the footprints in the sand now. I was not alone nor have I ever been.

We have moved from that horrible neighborhood to a very nice one. Not once have I heard gunfire, or someone yelling outside because of being intoxicated or on drugs, not one prostitute walks in front of my house either. My husband had gotten a part time job that got us into a rental property that is awesome.  The kid’s school is closer, and the kids are looking forward to having friends come over. My life has taken some of the worst turns I have ever had to face. But not once was I alone to handle it. I am holding my hand out to God and Goddess to help me with the pain of losing my baby and though it is way too soon for me to feel the difference in healing I know that I will someday. I have two footprints in the sand and not one of them are mine.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed

he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene he noticed two sets of

footprints in the sand: one belonging

to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand

He noticed that many times along the path of

his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very

lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he

questioned the LORD about it:

“LORD, you said that once I decided to follow

you, you’d walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most

troublesome times in my life,

there is only one set of footprints.

I don’t understand why when

I needed you most you would leave me.”

The LORD replied:

“My son, my precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you.”

Blessed Be

Luna Noir

I can't believe my baby is gone!

Posted in child, children, Faith, God and Goddess Worship, help, home, unborn, Uncategorized, Wavering with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2011 by Luna Noir The Witches Cupboard

When last I posted, I spoke about wavering faith. Now I speak about blind faith. With all that I thought could be the worst things to happen to me and my family; I was knocked down a few more pegs after getting my first ultra sound after 16 weeks of pregnancy. (I know what you’re thinking) why did I wait so long?!) I had no choice in the matter. With no insurance I was turned away from every place I thought was supposed to help me.

The state of Michigan government agencies are run worse than the FBI, CIA and Homeland security during 9/11. No one knew who I was supposed to talk to or who I could call for information. I made so many calls to DHS, Planned Parenthood, OBGYN offices in general, just trying to get help. That finally after praying for help, I called the city of Lansing spoke to God only knows and was told that all the places I had called should have directed me to Herman Kiefer. Where everything I needed could easily have been taken care of. I was told that every agency I spoke with has a list that they could have looked at if they were so inclined to help me. But even after that, I still had to wait 2 extra weeks to see a nurse then make my appointment for the ultra sound.

I did everything that I was told, and when I went to the ultra sound with my mother (the hubs had to work) I was so excited because we might have been able to see the sex of the baby… I had so many thoughts of how I would call my husband to tease him on what we were going to have, and then how would I tell the kids. I thought of making them a white cake and there in the middle of the cake would be either blur or pink frosting or something that would indicate the sex of the baby.

So as I lay down on the table, and exposed my belly for the ultrasound tech to begin her work, she asked me if I was from the outpatient clinic. Yes I am… She began the ultrasound, with a squirt of warm jelly on my belly and then, she began to run the Doppler over my pelvis for about 3 minutes and then she said she was checking my ovaries, and I told her to tell me once she would begin to look at the baby. She agreed, and after another 3 minutes looking around my ovaries she told me that she was now about to check the baby… About 10-15 seconds (no exaggeration) she stopped and said that she needed to get the doctor. She asked me when was my first confirmation of pregnancy and when I told her she left the room. I was freaked out and so was my mom. She hardly looked at the baby before she walked out the door. I thought that perhaps she saw a tumor or fibroids, or something like that. The Doctor came in put the Doppler on my tummy and within 5-7 seconds said I have good news and bad news. I immediately said what’s the good news? She said the baby is developed, I then said “what’s the bad news?” The doctor said “It stopped (Developing), sorry about that, we need you to pull up your pants and the ultrasound tech will take you to the next room, so they can tell you about your options. Again, sorry”.

I looked at my mother in bewilderment and I kinda remember wiping my belly and pulling up my pants. The tech was guiding me to the room next door and I recall asking to go to the restroom. My head began to spin. Just like that, with the words “I have good news and bad news”, my life was turned upside down.

I sat in the room next to the ultrasound room and waited what seemed like forever. Waiting for the phone to ring that would tell me that my baby was dead. The phone did ring and a doctor did call me and began to prattle off all sorts of ways for me to expel the lifeless body that was in my belly, she rattled off words like D & C, misoprostol, surgery or just go home and wait for it to come out on its own. Would you like fries with that or to biggy size it??? It was so nonchalant, I’ve had more remorse from a sales clerk not having shoes in my size than these assholes who just announced that my baby was dead.

I clearly was in shock but I don’t think that this bitch even thought or cared about that. “So what do you want to do”? Um I can’t make a decision right now, was my answer. I think that I need some time to think. “Um ok just call me tomorrow, with your decision, Sorry about this “. I was devastated; I couldn’t believe what I was going through. I called my husband and he was so upset how I was treated. My mother sat there with me in the same shock that I was. She told me that I needed a second opinion. This was for sure.

So I went home and my thinking was, if I have miscarried then like the women on the phone said I can just wait for nature to run its course and the baby will come out on its own and if they are wrong, then I can give the baby some time to grow a bit and have a heartbeat. You may be thinking right now that Luna has lost her mind. But in a way I have. I couldn’t comprehend that these heartless bitches could be right, so I went home with the idea that there must be a reason for this shit to be happening. I was home for a week and I swear that I thought that I could feel the baby move just like before the ultrasound.

I told my husband that I wanted to wait until my next doctors appointment to come around and then I would go and get another ultrasound, then I would be sure that the baby had had a chance to either grow or then I would know without a shadow of  a doubt, the baby was gone. Well he called the doctors office to tell them what I was planning on doing, and within about 15 minutes I received a call telling me to come to the hospital the very next day for another look at the baby to see if there was a heartbeat and that they were sorry for how I was treated the last time I was there. So I went to the hospital with my husband, and I was given the proper amount of time for the ultrasound and I saw that the baby was there with no heartbeat. This time around with another doctor, I was treated like a person. Not like an animal. I was still so terribly sad. Because the days that I was at home I prayed so much to God and Goddess and to all the divine beings in heaven and on earth. But to no avail.

I think it’s been 4 days since I went to the hospital and got the D&C but I still touch my belly like if I still had my precious little Blueberry (that was my nickname for the baby). I can’t believe that after all the terrible times I have had in my life for the past couple of years, losing the jobs, losing the house, losing so much that I could still be brought even lower.

The reason for me posting this isn’t to show you how bitter, sad, depressed, angry or tired I am of all this shit that has happened to me and my family. But to show you that despite all this my faith in God and the Goddess is still as strong if not stronger by it.

After I left that hospital the first time, I went home and begged, prayed, and pleaded with the God/dess to make Blueberry well. To let that bitch who gave me my “good news, bad news” to be fucking wrong! I also prayed that if I had to lose my baby to at least trade me something for the pain that I would endure in the coming months and possibly years… To trade me a better world for my kids that I have now, and for a better kind of people on this planet for my future baby. That’s what I asked for. I went to sleep every night in tears, I walked around the house in tears all day long, until the morning of the D&C when I got up and felt completely numb. I had so many people praying for me and my family, that I truly felt like I was being shielded against the fear, and pain that was about to come. I have never had surgery before, never had to deal with this kind of situation ever before in my life. On this day I woke up and got dressed and I noticed that I was being taken care of by God and the Goddess. I understand the poem the footprints in the sand now. I was not alone nor have I ever been.

We have moved from that horrible neighborhood to a very nice one. Not once have I heard gunfire, or someone yelling outside because of being intoxicated or on drugs, not one prostitute walks in front of my house either. My husband had gotten a part time job that got us into a rental property that is awesome.  The kid’s school is closer, and the kids are looking forward to having friends come over. My life has taken some of the worst turns I have ever had to face. But not once was I alone to handle it. I am holding my hand out to God and Goddess to help me with the pain of losing my baby and though it is way too soon for me to feel the difference in healing I know that I will someday. I have two footprints in the sand and not one of them are mine.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed

he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene he noticed two sets of

footprints in the sand: one belonging

to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand

He noticed that many times along the path of

his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very

lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he

questioned the LORD about it:

“LORD, you said that once I decided to follow

you, you’d walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most

troublesome times in my life,

there is only one set of footprints.

I don’t understand why when

I needed you most you would leave me.”

The LORD replied:

“My son, my precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you.”

Blessed Be

Luna Noir